9/24/2023 0 Comments Best bee puns![]() One bee began to sputter a little, but flew right by an open gas station. As the crowd flew along, periodically a bee or two would start to sputter it would fly down to a gas station, drink up the gas spilled in fueling a car, and then fly up and rejoin the crowd. They were powered by gasoline, rather than the allergenic goodies that bees usually eat. There was a crowd of bees flying around one day. The Second Law of Beekeeping: They’re both wrong. The First Law of Beekeeping: For every beekeeping idea, there exists an equal and opposite idea. You might need to be a beekeeper to get this one: What do you call a person who studies bees? The honey bee answers, “Well, I liked the book.” “Are you a honey bee?” asked the man, surprised. I doubt that climate change would stop swarming, which is why it’s included here on our ‘jokes’ page.)Ī man in a movie theater notices a honey bee sitting next to him. (I first heard that little ditty almost 20 years ago. Q: Savez-vous comment les abeilles communiquent entre elles? (Editor’s note: Beekeeper Number Two is a jerk.)įound in one of last year's Holiday Crackers: “What do I care, they’re just bees, let them worry about it.” “Seriously? You can’t keep 12 million bees in just one hive!!!” “How many bees do you have?” asked the first. (Thankfully, no honey bees were injured in making this clip.) ![]() And for goodness sake, keep it brief – don’t drone on and on! When talking to your friends about your bees, don’t exaggerate or they’ll think you’re blowing smoke. How do bees make money? They cell their honey! Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archives. ![]() What do you call a bee that eats too much? Chubb-bee. What is a bee’s favorite flower? Bee-gonias! What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB. What TV channel do Canadian bees watch? See, bee, see! And the males were droning on and on and on. Why did the queen bee kick out all the male bees? Well, it was fall. When LL Langstroth invented the modern beehive, there were a lot of old fashioned beekeepers who didn’t think it would work. What kind of bee is born in the spring? A May bee. Who is the bees favourite composer? Bee-thoven. When a bee is in your hand, what’s in your eye? Beauty–it’s in the eye of the bee-holder! What do you do with a limp wasp? Take it to a waspital. When they finally reached the place, there was no punch line. So they flew off again, this time to get some fruit punch. But again, the line to get in was much too long. The first pub had great beer but there was a long, long line, so after waiting for an hour to get in, they all flew off to another watering hole. Her friends took her to town for celebration drinks. She missed her sisters and decided to fly home. Retired from saving the world and making the country strong, safe, and healthy, the bee suddenly remembered the cozy little nest back in the woods by the little town. People wanted her to run for a third term, of course, but there were rules against that, so she said no, she’d retire. Her achievements were even greater over the next four years. She was wildly popular, so she was easily re-elected. As a medical scientist, she funded the right people and they discovered a cure for cancer. As a geophysicist, she figured out a way to stop earthquakes. As a bee, she knew a lot about nutrition, so she encouraged people to eat more honey and less sugar. In her first term, she brought about world peace. She was so smart and popular that folks said she should run for president. She quickly earned three PhDs – medicine, philosophy, and geophysics. She headed east and (after doing brilliantly on her SAT exams) attended Harvard. The new bee loved the cozy nest and loved her family, but decided to explore the world. ![]() Into this wonderful family a new worker emerged one bright spring morning. Bees had lived in the same tree for generations, queen after queen, healthy and happy. Nearby was a small town where the youngr bees could hang out and mix and mingle. ![]() The hive was in a big basswood forest near a flowery meadow, so there was a good honey flow every year. In a midwest honey tree, there was a comfortable colony of bees. Do you like long, pointless bee puns? If you do, this parable is for you! ![]()
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